Bonde Do Rolê - Funk da Esfiha

Have you seen the movie City of God? It makes Brazil seem like one scary ass place. Well this is some Brazilian music made by the nice kids that were not shown in the movie. They have mashed up some old familiar tracks with old skool hip hop beats and then added their own rap over the whole mess. You can even hear hints of baile beats but nothing dominates the mix more than just the overall fun feeling.

As you can hear, they have sampled a song from the musical “Grease”. If you know me, you may know that I hate “Grease” with passion. Growing up with a sister that was a thespian I had to see many live performances of this bullshit. Anyways this song is good enough to push the memories of local theater actor’s shit eating grins as they sang “Grease lighting!” out of my mind, and think more about a jumping party. Check out their MySpace page.

Caseytron

Exercises in Trust

WSM Presents: Slander Sunday!

Willie Nelson: Musician. Environmentalist. Necrophiliac?

We know exactly how you feel. That is a pretty disturbing accusation. We were just as disturbed when we found out that we had to make said accusations. What it comes down to, however, is one simple question. How well do you know this Willie Nelson? Would you put your life on it that he’s not a necrophiliac? Would you put your daughter’s? We don’t want to believe this. We hope to god it’s not true, but what we are not prepared to do, at this juncture, is rule it out.

While we have no tangible evidence to prove this, could you imagine If we found an old lyric book of his that looked like this:
Do you know how much credibility that would give our case? A lot Pedro. A lot.

So go ahead and ignore this if you want to. Live your life in ignorant bliss. Listening to his classic tunes, watching his shitty movies, supporting the environment. But before you do, take a look at THIS. Now ask yourself what do you see. A musical legend? Maybe. An old hippie. Sure. Now imagine that same face except this time big Willie’s getting jiggy with your dearly departed, ponytail wildly flopping about as he desecrates someone you loved.

Your Nana is trying to rest in piece and he’s trying to break one off. You’re buying tickets to see him in concert, meanwhile this old cowboy is backstage giving it to the latest traffic accident. He likes them fresh. They all do. This possible pervert might need to be stopped. And you’re just sitting there, smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. You make us sick.

Insecure Jesus

It’s time to clear a few things up.  First of all, and I am just being honest here, a few things about me have been over blown somewhat. One of most common misconceptions that I hear is that I somehow walked on water.  While it is true that I did do something that may have slightly resembled walking on water, in reality it was more of a skid.  I mean did you honestly think that I literally walked on water?

I guess I am a victim of good publicity because while I am technically the son of God, that in no way makes me some sort of magician.  People ask me to do the water trick all the time, and I would be lying if I said that they were less than disappointed with the results. I mean I did that trick two thousand years ago, I had a nice buzz, we were at Paul’s house and I honestly don’t even remember doing it.

Then there is the wine story.  Water to wine yeah that sounds impressive.  Look, between me and you that was a little bit exaggerated.  Yes there was some water. Yes I turned it into wine.  But if I am so great then why didn’t I turn it into something better?  In the long run what does wine do for you besides temporarily make you feel better?  I mean given the chance wouldn’t you do something better with your abilities? I’m such an idiot.

Now I have to come back to earth and do it all again.  I didn’t even do that great of a job in the first place and I am now supposed to save you?  Maybe I could send someone in my place, like Gandhi or JFK.  You would like that wouldn’t you?  Yeah I am gonna get on this right away cause I really don’t think I’m cut out for this.

Power’s Hour

Yep it’s me, Powers Boothe. Leading man, Southwest Texas State University Grad, honorary black belt and on and on and on. Don’t pretend you don’t recognize me. You do. You’ve seen this mug plastered prominently on silver screens from Minneapolis to Moscow, from Russia to the US and then back again.

I’ve worked with the hottest dames, the best leading men, and some of the most articulate coloreds in the biz. All the while making sure the audience leaves the theaters with their crotches dripping of blood, urine or cum. Sometimes all of the above. I am not gonna explain what I meant by that. I’d just as soon eat out a dead whore’s axe wound than hold your hand through this editorial.

Do you think Pacino held my hand through Cruisin? You’re god damn right he didn’t. It only took me two days on set to learn that lesson the hard way. I called him Al mid scene, and I don’t need to tell you that before the director could yell cut my face was dripping with sweat from A.P.’s baby beans.

Let’s get this straight. You’re taking a trip down Boothe Lane, and it’s a one way street where all of the parking is metered. I will be one of the most Powers’ful forces this internet fad has ever seen. And you will get to know me well. For one, I love stabbing clam, but that’s a given. I also knifed a guy in Cincinnati but I don’t want to get to into that just yet, cause The P.B. doesn’t blow his J. until he’s got his target engaged. And once you get in this Boothe your guaranteed to have an excellent adventure, regardless of whether or not your name is Bill or Fred. Also, I was talking about ejaculating in the sentence before the last one. See you soon, sugar tits.

New Music Monday: Hey Ya Cover

Black Knight

Most innovative comedy of all time? Discuss.

Alluc.org - Bring it on again

Alluc.org is a gift. I refuse to order Showtime just for one show, that show being Weeds, so I patiently wait for the fuckers to put it on itunes or DVD. Season two ends in such a way that you cannot possibly wait more than a month or two to see what happens in the next season. Sounds nerdy, but it’s a great show.

I digress. During my quest to find out when Season 3 is going to be released, I run across this site, Alluc.org. It’s a site that categorizes links to anything you could possibly want, from any TV show or movie to live streaming of channels like HBO. What the fuck? How did I not know about this? It’s like YouTube used to be before they got sued 9 billion times, when they had all of those Seinfeld, Family Guy and Daily Show episodes. Since it’s free, and I’m assuming illegal, you have to poke around or maybe wait for a video to load, but it’s there. And for things like Weeds Season 3, it’s the only place to get it.

Check it out. There’s nothing quite like doing your small part to fuck over rich, entitled, home-schooled, Scientology-ridden, arrogant Hollywood D-Bags. Am I right or am I right? Fuck you , I don’t care. Please like me. I’ll do anything. Go to hell because I don’t care about you. Goodbye.

Alluc.org Highlights:

TV Shows - Weeds, Dexter, Entourage, Lost, The Wire, How I Met Your Mother…

Movies - Blow, Superbad, Dogma, Knocked Up, Simpsons Movie, Bring it on Again…

Cartoons - Family Guy, Simpsons, South Park, Futurama, American Dad, Tom & Jerry…

Sports - NBA, UFC, World Series of Poker, High Stakes Poker, WrestleMania 23 …

Johny

P.S. - You’re an idiot for thinking it would play.

Tell That to My Sore Vagina.

 

WSM got wind of this great site, Spoofcard.com, where you can call anybody you’d like and spoof the caller id (make it any number you choose), as well as disguise your voice. The possibilities are endless. We have a shitload of these calls, and will be putting them on the site from time to time for your hearing enjoyment. In this call WSM calls Jonah as a woman, from his good friend’s (Kellin) number, and lets him know that Kellin left his phone in “her” car. Listen for the rest. By the way, we cut it off at the end (to avoid using last names) when WSM is telling him it’s not real. It sucks anyways. Be patient – it’s worth the wait (according to me).

WSM’S Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions

10) Stop Supermaning ho’s.

9) Start Supermaning ladies.

8.) Take more of Tyra Banks’ advice.

7) Figure out the main difference between dating and date raping.

6) Quit procrastinating Bhutto assassination plans.

5) Have less awkward conversations with Chris Hansen.

4) Stop spraying it and start saying it.

3) Find out what a donkey punch actually involves.   If wrong, apologize to ranch owner.

2) Warm up car.

1) Stop stabbing Joey Greco.