Wheelies Fail to Impress Crush

Despite performing  an incredibly impressive wheelie directly in front of classmate Rachel Haysworth’s house , local sixth-grader Danny Nueben once again failed to impress his longtime crush.

Nueben, who has had feelings for Haysworth since the third grade, has struggled to find a way to gain her attention ever since he began attending school with her.

Although his previous attempts had failed, Danny remained confident that his bicycle theatrics would secure him the desperately needed attention he had been missing ever since his parents were killed in an elevator accident last fall.

It seemed like fate to Danny when he performed one of the longest wheelies of his life directly in front of the Haysworth house on Sunday, precisely at the moment the Haysworths were leaving for Sunday mass. Unfortunately for  Danny, Rachel was still inside looking for her left shoe and missed the daring stunt.

Rachel remains unaware of Danny’s existence at the time of publication

New Music Monday: Miles Fisher

From a dead on Tom Cruise impression to a recent (albeit small) role in Mad Men, Miles Fisher seems to be on his way to doing something with his life besides graduating from some lame school in Mass.  Besides the fact that the video is a superb homage to American Psycho, this cover of ‘This Must Be the Place’ by the Talking Heads is better than the original, so check it out.  You can see the Cruise impression here.