Bada Boom!
August 25, 2007
In Rome. Cruising past the Coliseum in my rented 125 cc scooter. Come across a rare patch of smooth pavement. I am the man so I turn it up. There’s a couple on a moped to my left but they clearly see me so there not gonna try to cross. I’m wrong. Now they are in my direct line of fire. Left hand- rear brakes now. Not working impact is still imminent. Right-hand front brakes now-way too hard. Panic is not a logical emotion. Now I am in the air. I have experienced this feeling only once before in my life and those of you who know my personal history know exactly what I am talking about.
The skin peeled away from my body almost as quickly as my atheism and libertarian views on helmet laws did. As I am sliding I manage to look behind me only to find my scooter heading towards me . It knows I am responsible for the damage inflicted upon it and wants revenge. I stuck my feet out and kept the spiteful machine at a manageable distance. That’s not what worries me though. There is something much larger and much more ominous behind this scooter.
Gravity starts to play the role of cupid and my face got friendly with the pavement.If I have learned anything during this incident it is that my chin is extremely allergic to asphalt. The romance was a short and distracted one, at least on my part, as I spent most of it worrying about this looming object in my peripheral. Finally the sliding stopped. Get the FUCK up. No time to check for injuries I needed to get off this path of destruction. Surprisingly, my body obliged and before I knew it I was on a Roman Sidewalk looking back at A Big Fucking tour bus with Big Fucking Windows full of Shocked Fucking Tourists all staring back at me. I almost introduced little Timmy to death far to early. Sorry not today I am alive and all wounds are superficial. I may look like I pinched Chuck Liddell’s wife’s ass but I feel like a Gladiator…even better I feel like Russel Crowe, I might even go throw a phone at someone’s face.
Great fucking post. I have to hear this story. Word em.
Who’s little Timmy? Oh yeah, and I am glad you are alive. Also, don’t think that I took my blog down or anything. Apparently google blogger is like the govt. in that it will tell you that everything is going great and the physical evidence in front of your face that it’s not is just you being a traitor.
WSM Says: Little Timmy is a hypothetical child on the bus that tried to run me over. I was too busy bleeding to find and actual name of someone on the bus sorry GREER. Either that or a nick name for my junk, it’s like choose your on adventure you get to decide!
Hey world traveller. I revel in your tales of old world travel. I am sorry to hear about your face and the Roman sidewalks. Keep on writing it takes me places.
<p>I want to have your baby. Come to Japan</p>
http://toshi.tea-nifty.com/blog/2007/08/post_74ec.html
So glad you arent road kill nate, crazy story though…should I know about another particular time you were thrown in the air? I am getting all blanks.
WSM Says: When I was a youngin I heroically rolled my car off the side of a hill instead of running over a gaggle of endangered baby geese who resting in the middle of the road. I don’t think you were born yet.
How bout the time you were changing your CD while rounding the corner in your 4-wheel drive and proceeded to do auto somersaults—and later described your outta body experience! You’ve got 9 lives–don’t use them all on up on this trip!
What happened to Greers blog? Get on it Greer.
I’m sorry to hear of your unfortunate run in with the pavement. Glad to hear you are still in one piece. We miss you at the slope!
I am going to compile a list…you tell me what the common thread is:
1.Nate’s Euro scooter
2.Dave’s used Volvo
3.Brent’s Audi
4.Kelly in her friend’s SUV
5.Multiple Caldwell vehicles
6.Nate’s Explorer
WSM Says: They were all frat grinded? Word on the street is that Dave tried to wrestle his boss on the first day of work. Dave think’s the whole world is his frathouse and everyone falls into two categories; pledges and Roofie-toots.
Don’t forget Cassie’s VW unrecognizable after Getch was through with it.
Beech-Nut….you sure are hilarious. I am going to compile a list and you tell me what the common thread is:
1. This weekend: Dave hammered.
2. Last Weekend: Dave hammered.
3. 2 Weekends Ago: Dave hammered.
4. 3 Weekends Ago: Dave hammered.
5. 4 Weekends Ago: Dave Hammered.
6: 38 Weekends Ago: Dave Hammered.
I could go on.
WSM Says:This Weekend:Dave gets hammered by Tom his frat brother. That’s what happens when you pass outaround Tom “T-Bone Mc Nutsauce”.
ahhh guys. I just broke out laughing in the middle of my office….real professional, thanks.
if i was a magazine or newspaper i would pay you to travel the world and write a column about your adventures and views on other cultures. maybe you should write a book. are you taking pictures? this could be your calling nate. you could also rep conk wear while you’re at it.