How To Get Conned in Ten Quick and Easy Steps

September 5, 2007

1.) Talk to anyone. Especially if they seem like they want to sell you something or get over on you in some way.

2.) When a man approaches you and makes small talk before telling you a lame generic back story on why he needs to get rid of a new computer for very little, believe him.

3.) He will proceed to show you a very nice computer. He wants to get rid of it for 150 Euros.

4.) Sure this thing is certainly worth more than that but if your gonna buy a computer of the street from some degenerate you might as well negotiate so you tell the guy to fuck off and that the best you can do is fifty.

5.) The man not so calmy replies that that is an outrageous amount for such a nice computer and he puts it back into the bag.

6.) You tell the man that he is probably right and you walk away only to have him yell back at you how about eighty. Now he is getting desperate, the ball is in your court.

7.) You’ve got him backed into a corner at this point and this two thousand dollar machine is yours for a mere fifty euros if you stick to your guns. You should probably begin to wonder at this point why a man would sell so low but your caught up in the action so you turn around and offer fifty or nothing, to which he accepts. You hand him a fifty he hands you the machine and you part ways feeling like a Master negotiator.

8.) You start to replay the situation in your head as you are walking and start to feel funny. It was a little too easy. Then It hits you. Somethings not right so you go into a cafe and open your new laptop case. It’s strange that the zipper is clipped to anther one so its hard to open. Finally you get it unclipped and suddenly you are not so pleased with this purchase. While the sand in the bag is nice and white and there is a decent amount of it your not sure that it is worth fifty euros. In fact your almost positive that the computer salesman got the better end of the deal.

9.) You run back to dispute your purchase. Surely you will explain to the man that he had handed you a bag full of sand and not the laptop for which you had previously negotiated. It may be embarrassing for him as well as yourself but you will both chuckle awkwardly as you exchange the bags. But he is nowhere to be found and it dawns on you that this may have been some sort of con. Yep you now fully believe you got conned.

10.) Go back to your hotel room and make a fifty euro sand castle.