Tips for traveling in Hungary

August 9, 2007

Hungary is a wonderful place to visit, especially for the young bachelor. It’s full of merriment, magic and happy fun time! Here are a few things that will be helpful to to any young man looking for a good time.

–Break out those capri’s! You don’t have any? That’s fine simply take your silly little logical pants where the legs cover the entire leg and cut them about five inches short. The perfect capri look is one reminesent of the poor kid in seventh grade who hit puberty far faster than his parents could afford. Women in Europe find the five inches of leg above the ankle to be incredibly sexy so start working out those ankles five to six weeks in advance.

–Break out that fanny pack! It’s gay you say? Well not in Europe they’re not. Here the only thing that is better than a nice pair of capri’s is one that has a fanny pack covering the crotch. Besides, fanny is slang for a certain part of the female body and what’s gay about having a fanny wrapped around your crotch? Nothing Pedro, nothing.

–Hungarians are humorous people and it’s good to let them know you have a sense of humor as well. I find that pointing out that Hungary means you are famished in English is the perfect way to show off your silly side. Begin by rubbing your stomach while loudly proclaiming “Hungary sure makes me hungry!”. You want to make sure that you don’t overuse this joke, eight to twelve times a day should be perfect.

–There are many amazing museums in Hungary to choose from, I recommend the Terror Haza or the Jewish Museum. Word to the wise if you do decide to visit the Jewish Museum do not loudly proclaim your love for Mel Gibson especially when you emphasize that you don’t like any of his movies but are an admirer of his political views.

–Now there is a mating season in Hungary from the beginning of March through October so make sure you travel accordingly. You don’t want to end up in the middle of Budapest when the women are “hibernating”. There has been some controversy with the so-called hibernating. Some claim (left wing wackos) that being locked in a cage is white slavery not hibernation like their captors claim. You say tomato I say tomato!

— Social mating etiquette is pretty similar to that of our own with a few exceptions so if you are planning on spreading some good old American democra-seed follow these simple rules and you should see some success.

In Hungary telling a woman you find her looks distateful is just as important as letting them know the opposite so don’t be shy! When you see a fugly woman within range it is custom to moisten your hand and give her a good slap on the back of the neck. She has until the time your hand print has faded to do something about that nasty appearance.

While most of the flirting is very similar to the United States you will find that a good majority of the women here don’t speak english. WTF?? LMFAO!! I find that I use the same method of flirtation I would at a loud party back in the US which is the subtle finger through the other fingers that you shape into a circle. This is a classy way to inform them of your intentions.

Well I hope you heed some of these tips and pointers while traveling. You will find that many of these tips are Universal throughout Europe. But you might want to do some research of your own. I think some of these would actually result in some serious jail time elsewhere. Any what Enjoy!