I’m manly
August 20, 2007
In Salzberg, Austria. What the fuck was I thinking? This is a place that is best known for having been the location where they shot The Sound of Music. I feel embarrassed that I am here. I feel that I have let you down being that you came to this site expecting to read about a man doing manly things all over this crazy blue marble we call home. Well guess what folks! I manning it up a notch. I’m gonna get fratty all over this mofo! I am going to Berlin and I hereby promise that while there I will physically assault someone.
Ooooh I would not want to be that poor fuck. He’s somewhere right now probably sippin on a latte or ironing his capri’s maybe greasing up his wheelchair. Meanwhile he has no idea that he is literally hours away from the thunder. Guess what scumbag? They might as well start calling You Peru cause I’m bout to shake your world up. Oh too soon for Peru references? To fucking bad cause English may be my first language but I’m also fluent in crazy motherfucker.
You cannot find an excuse for what’s coming your way, sorry.
“Oh I have class I can’t tussle right now”. Oh really well I double majored in ass kicking and skull crushing with a minor in fucking you up so Call me Professor Pain cause class is in session.
“Oh I have to pick up my granddaughter from soccer.” I will punch you in the face and then bend it like Beckham all over your gd’s face.
“Oh I am recovering from my latest bout of chemo.” Tell you what, you can recover in the grave after I radiate karate chops all over your bald head.
So there it is folk’s I don’t think there is any reason to bring my manhood into question after this post. Even if I did go on the sound of music tour and bought the CD and did have a picture taken of myself in the same field and what appears to be the same dress that Julie Andrews wore in the movie. The point that I’m trying to make is that I’m all man and you will see my reckoning, you will.
Great post.
I’m not sure if you really are a crazy motherfucker but you are definitely a ridiculously hilarious motherfucker. And you smell like apricots, like, all the time
Who’s this “Greer” fellow? He can’t be trusted.
I’m really laughing after reading your post…this concerns me…a lot…
i’m your mom, baby. And I never loved you. And dropped you about 6 times that first month. My bad.
Damn it. I knew you couldn’t be trusted.
Categorize your posts god damn it. Lord forgive me for my blasphemy.
hmmm havent read a blog from you in a couple of days, hope you didnt get your ass kicked by some grandpa formally know as the best fighter in Austria and are in some sketchy hostpital getting infectious needles stuck in your arms. Better hear from you soon or Im sending up my troops, fuck americas, at least I am on a budget for some good ass-kicking.
I’m going to go ahead and call one my euro austro frat counterparts to go and frat knock you at the same time calling you a silly american tourist.
Do it for the frat!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me guess…you wrote this on your hostel dorm bed, in the dark, while quietely snickering at yourself and your apparent witty drunken humor, all after a night of binge drinking and stumbling home alone…oh snap!
Dave is pissed because he is the opposite of frat these days. Workin in nerd heaven aka Google. Dave is a nerd and I can beat his ass any day of the week. You will have to fulfill that contact soon, I still have it. Beech-nuts!
Brent your name is not Rus. However, my name actually is I crush non-fratties.
Oh Beech-Nut Noogler. It’s going to stick.