One Month In Thailand
November 13, 2007
In Bangkok. That ‘s in Thailand. I got into B-cock early and quickly hailed an elephant to head for my hotel for a nappy-poo. One of the first things you notice upon riding through the busy streets of Bangkok are the giant pictures of this handsome fellow. He is the King. I’m afraid to say anything else on the subject because this might happen.
Bangkok is huge. And Hot. And a little hairy, but it is never-less a place to behold. For fifteen dollars I took a personal tour of all of the great monuments, which in Thailand are all golden fatboys named Buddha. Huge ones, little ones, reclining one’s, Buddhas that are actually made of real gold and my personal favorite, Chillaxin Buddha.
Three nights in Bangkok have made the N Man Lazy, and sick. I have smelled things no one above the fifth layer of hell is meant to smell. I would say it smells like death, but it’s more like death’s bowel movements after eating some bad Chinese. Or Thai. I need to escape so I am gonna get my Kurt Russell on and go down to Phuket.
Oh, but one good thing. They have double Big Macs Here. If the US has any plans of retaining our number one status as the world’s fattest country, we need to get on this and quick. I don’t care if I have to run for office, we will have cheese filled buns by the end of the year. And I can feel the devil walking next to me.