Powers Hour: How bout we Talk POWlitics.

That’s right. The Boothe is back. And this time it’s Powlitical(?). Yeah that works. I am not going to get preachy, if you paid any attention you would know that my blogs tend to be few and far between and rarely political, but sometimes this future lifetime achievement award nominee has to put it all on the line, like a professional line putter of some sort. Yeah there’s probably on of those. Any POW, lets get right down to it-Obama, now I may be the first one to say it, but I would bet a Nile crocodiles tooth that I am not the only one to think that this Barblack is getting a little uppity.Admittedly, I will say that, that to be fair, I have not been all that attentive to the current race, (or any race really). Ever since that fish eater Kennedy got into office I have been pretty much apolitical. Although I do attend a militia meeting or two (border Powtrol). I wasn’t paying much attention to this election either. Considering I have spent the last three months in Ecuador boar hunting with the Cofan. So you can imagine my surprise when I came home to find this colored fellow actually had a shot. I can say colored, who’s gonna come after the PB? The NAACP? It’s right there in the name bat shit.

At first I thought that this campaign of his was some sort of publicity stunt, I assumed this mutt was pulling a Coleman. I don’t mean to shock anyone here but, by all appearances, it seems like he really is running for president.

Listen here, I am by NO means a racist, my maids black. I’m a traditionalist. I like my cars American, my steak barley deceased, and my women battling oxygen deprivation caused by their corsets. What’s the word for it? Oh yeah its called an American. So sue me, Jew me, kick me, kike me cause I don’t like the way things have been going in this country. Even if you put aside the fact that there is some sort of racial smörgåsbord running wild throughout the country side, you would have to take into account the fact that the other candidate, when not bleeding from the bottom half, is spewing pure donkey shit from the top. Is this what I fought in World War Two for? I don’t think so.

So who is the Power gonna endorse? You will probably be surprised to hear that I have made my decision. It was a hard one to make but what it came down to was what is this candidate gonna do to turn this country around? Who can throw the pillow biters back in the closet? Who can save the babies of this country, even if that means they have to pry them from the vagina’s with their bear hands? Who has the tenacity to defeat the towel heads? After some careful calculation I found that there is only one who could achieve such lofty goals. A POW in the truest sense of the word. POWERS BOOTHE. Yep, I’m running for president. So get off the straight talk express and pony on up to the straight express, where not only do we talk the straight talk-we fuck broads too.

Tip of the Day: South Park is Free (every episode)

Those fuckin’ South Park guys have done it again. SouthParkStudios.com has every South Park episode ever created for free and fast as balls. Comedy Central released the site earlier this month so it’s legal, reliable and quick. They even have last night’s brand new episode, which means it’s season 12. Good work.

Moving on - I can’t stand those assholes out of pure jealousy, but putting everything online is a commendable gesture. Sidenote: WSM is surprised the show has been around for twelve years.

Yep, that’s how I roll.

Studio - West Side

And another new music Monday has arrived. I did not know that dub was popular in Sweden. I suppose people get irie all across this globe if you know what I mean. Anyways, if you like the English Beat or dub inspired rock you may find this song enjoyable to your ears. If you happen to be somewhere overseas in the next month you can check them out playing DJ sets in Tokyo or London. More about Studio here.

Caseytron

I’d Be An Amazing Cripple.

Nope, that’s not me. If it was, I’d look much better than that guy, and BTW, so would the lady next to me. Unfortunately I’m as healthy as can be, but you can bet your lucky penny that if I was handicapped handicap able, I would be, at the least, absurdly upbeat.

If there is one thing that makes me question our Lord’s infinite wisdom, it would have to be the fact that I am still walking around with four fully functional limbs. I have no doubt that if given the chance- I’d make your spine tingle with awe as you watched me overcoming any sort of incurable deformity. Let’s face it, cripples usually fall into one of two categories- incredibly inspiring or pathetically depressing. I don’t think I have to spell out for you which category is lacking more people than limbs. It’s the inspiring one. Well if I got hit by a bus tomorrow or somehow lost my arm, I would be America’s next top gimp.

It seems like only whiny pussies get to be handicapped these days. What an incredible waste of opportunity. From the born tards to the spontaneously disabled, most of these “people” are totally lacking in the motivation department. Everyone always points to Christopher Reeves as a suitable example of someone who overcame his disability. Please, you’re talking about a man who literally did not get back on the horse. And we’re supposed to be impressed. If that happened to me I would be racing the next Seabuscit within a year. Oh but RIP Superman, cause you didn’t do enough resting the latter half of your life.

Then you have the vets. Am I the only one who thinks these guys are the absolute worst of the worst? Boo hoo I went to war and you’ll never believe what happened! The enemy made a boo boo. Whaaaaah. Man, If I didn’t have flat feet I would be getting blown to pieces by an IED right now. And guess what G.I. Joe? I wouldn’t be whining about some hospital, I’d be teaching inner-city blacks how to play basketball before heading off to a sold out speaking engagement. That’s life though, bitter sweet. It’s true I was born with the ability, and more than enough talent to inspire the masses, but unfortunately for you, I have yet to find myself in the wrong place at the right time. You have no idea how it feels to have this much potential go to waste. It’s terrible. I would not wish it on anyone. At least the disabled are given the chance to be disabled, even if ninety-nine point nine percent of them totally blow it. I’m disabled when it comes to being disabled and that’s worse than any disability I could ever imagine.

You have to be out by Monday.

The Setup: Read before you listen.
In this week’s edition of the of the Word’s Smartest Man’s spoof calls, we give Travis a ring as his landlady. You have to keep in mind that Travis doesn’t speak with his landlady all that often, and his caller ID is showing her number. When you do spoof calls, people believe every word you say because of the caller ID. You can get away tons of shit you that wouldn’t pass in your average prank call, such as laughing and sounding like some fucked up sheman. Back to the setup - it is also important to note that Travis is not at home in California; he is in Colorado for a long weekend (the call is placed on a Friday). Travis’ reaction is quiet, but it’s priceless if you turn down the volume and wait for it.

P.S. The World’s Smartest Man would kill for one of these cell phones today. It would have to work though. That would be fucking awesome.

Amy Winehouse is so hot right now.

WSM Pays the Bills

WSM’s Best Terrible Video

Cosmo Knows Shit All about YOUR Va-jay-jay

That’s right, I said it. Someone had to. And surprise motherfucker that someone is me. I know what your thinking- I sure could go for some rice pudding. Not me that shits for the birds but after you see this you’re probably gonna be wondering what a Va-jay-jay is, I know I was. Turns out Va-jay-jay is slang for vagina. After some diligent research on my behalf I found out that the word vagina, if you dare believe dictionary.com, is the medical term for axe wound which, as you know, The Big Ten is all too familiar with. After taking a gander at the article I was shocked to find that Cosmo knows shit all about your Va-jay-Jay! Here’s where they went wrong:

Cosmo: “It comes in a lot of varieties…no two look the same”

Wrong. What’s a matter Cosmo, you’ve never heard a vagina has no face? Every publicly schooled boy knows that since he’s ten.

Cosmo: “It Sweats”.

Ewww. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Cosmo: “It’s not a black hole…women worry that tampons and other items can become ‘lost’ in the vagina.

Wrong again Cosmo that’s the first place you should check if you lose your keys, cellphone, dignity.

Cosmo: “It needs to be checked out…use a mirror to do a self exam once a month.”

Actually Cosmo is dead on about this one, except about the mirror. At least one source has found that not unlike a vampire the vagina is invisible in most mirrors. Have a friend or acquaintance do a thorough examination, also, have them check for any tampons or “other items” that you might have left up there.

Cosmo: “There are some design flaws…if the clitoris were was inside your vagina instead of above it, it would be a lot easier to stimulate with the penis.”

Clitoris? You can’t just make up words Cosmo. Busted.

In case this was not enough analysis of a Cosmo article for you here’s a quickie on another cover article in which they fail miserably to give you answers to the following questions:

Sex he has alone: Where and When. How often. What’s his shocking go to fantasy.

This is your man when your not home. This is him in the morning. This is him at night and at work etc. etc. etc. I wouldn’t dare guess what his ‘go to’ fantasy is but I can guarantee it does not involve this.

The Big Ten Bitch. You better Ax’ Some body

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